Did they get it?

I am sure that is a question many of us ask ourselves when we are done trying to 'correct' or 'help' a person to better their ways.

So how DO we know if they got it?

I just got back from a visit to a family where we had a lovely chat about how they plan to bring their neighbourhood closer together...and then we went on to chat more about our work and really how we can make things better at work.

I found myself sharing quite a number of thoughts with them, at times it seemed like the right thing to do, yet at times it seemed as though I could come off as a 'know-it-all'. Though they were very lovely to accept everything I had to say with big smiles and nods.

So how DO we build capacity without coming out looking as a 'know-it-all'?

As I was reflecting on the way back, I think both these 'how' questions can be answered based on the coherence within ourselves. This is me trying to gain coherence between what I was thinking and what I had said:

Was I sharing my thoughts and ideas or was I partaking of a consultation where new ideas arose?

Did I know all of those things I said before I was there? Or did my thoughts on it refine further after that discussion we had?

Was their capacity built (did they get it)? or was OUR capacity built (did WE get it)?

I read from a book called 'Developing Genius' (was about consultation) that true consultation had taken place from when everyone leaves with their understanding somewhat advanced.

So DO we build capacity when we only impart what we know without furthering our understanding?

I personally like to believe that we should be looking for the 'a-ha!' moment within ourselves rather than those we are helping build capacity...when we are in the process of accompanying others to build capacity. =)